Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:icontheice-sorceress: More from TheIce-Sorceress


Featured in Collections

Stories by JustWantToBe

Poetry by Hashae




Details

Submitted on
March 16, 2014
Submitted with
Sta.sh Writer
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
286
Favourites
17 (who?)
Comments
75
×
Long golden locks
that glisten like sun rays.

Eyes
that are vast oceans of deep blue.

Eyelashes
curly and dark, like the wing of a midnight raven.

Cheeks.
They are red rose petals placed delicately upon your face.

Your skin,
so flawless, perfect, clear. Like a crystal mirror.

Your feet,
so dainty, and little; they carry your perfectly shaped little body everywhere for people to swoon and holler over.

They all adore you.

A radiant smile that beams...... but truly deceives the minds, of the ones whom you say "want you".

Pretty exteriors don't always hide.

Vain, dark, ugly, personalities.

Let's see how pretty that little face of yours will be…...


When it is melting off; dripping into a pile of scorching cinders.

 In the burning, fiery, flames of hellfire.


Where evil girls like you
truly belong.
Pride and self-confidence.
Aren't always beautiful traits to have

I realize that making a woman the subject of this poem was rather generic, but it was easier to describe their features.

Though, you can find vain people in both genders.

It's funny how in our society, we want to praise the people who are mean and shallow.

And ignore the kind, generous, and humble.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, I know I'm just starting through your gallery here, but this is the best imagery so far. You definitely have the knack for imagery, I would just like to see it more in your stuff! :)

This is interesting. I understand the italics in the beginning, and they work for what you're trying to communicate. But the bold and then bold italics at the end kind of distracted me. Your words are angry and dark there, and the imagery changes to something much darker and more sinister. That might be enough to communicate the change in tone, without the additional formatting of the bold.

I feel like that's especially true for the last two lines. Those lines pack a punch already; I don't think the bold needs to be there. And those are good lines to close with. Let them stand on their own. :)
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Really? :blushes: you think so?

Gosh, that means a lot >w< 
Before, when I was first starting out in writing, I admit some of it was pretty terrible XP

But I've been trying my best to try and work harder on imagery and such, and it means a lot when someone tells me I'm improving in my writing :)


I see XP I admit, the bold at the end was a bit added extra into the message I was trying to convey, but I was fearful that if I didn't bold it, the message wouldn't have gotten across to many of my readers XD

But thank you, your analysis has been truly helpful, and I can begin to see some of my mistakes too :)
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I wouldn't necessarily say mistakes. Just things that can be improved on. No one starts out being a good writer, I don't think - it all takes practice. I've taken most of my original stuff down because I hated it so much. I've gotten a lot better since I first started here. You will too! :)
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you very much! :D

You know, I'll probably do the same when I'm a more experienced writer.
Take down all my old writings I THOUGHT were good before and save them in my stash :)

*so that no one may see them XD*
Reply
:iconpokemontrainergirl:
pokemontrainergirl Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
but I'm Christian...

XD. Very very suitable for the rivalry of my two sister OC's Mizuki and Elinora.
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
So am I XD

Mizuki is an awesome name :meow:
Reply
:iconpokemontrainergirl:
pokemontrainergirl Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
niiiice :3
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Not a problem X3
Reply
:iconchocovanillax:
ChocoVanillaX Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Student General Artist
I kind of get the pretty antagonist atmosphere from this
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
You do?

Like what kind? :3
Reply
:iconchocovanillax:
ChocoVanillaX Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Student General Artist
Someone like, maybe Maleficent? The classic beautiful evil queen.
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Maybe :D


though for me, I was thinking more Mean Girls Regina George XD
Reply
:iconchocovanillax:
ChocoVanillaX Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Student General Artist
That works too XD
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Yus :dummy:
Reply
Flagged as Spam
Hidden by Owner
Flagged as Spam
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Owner
(1 Reply)
:iconwilliamson13:
williamson13 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Interesting. . . very interesting. :)
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you!

How is it interesting? XD
Reply
:iconfantasy-fashionista:
Fantasy-Fashionista Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice, I really like it! :) ...And lookie that...I just got a bolt of inspiration from this!! ='D Hah, but it'll have to wait though XD I have commissions I owe people first.
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
What, really?!

OMG, exciting EXCITING! :la:

Please, tell me what it's about? ;w;

Through a note or something :'D
Reply
:iconfantasy-fashionista:
Fantasy-Fashionista Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol, okay XD
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
;w;
Reply
:iconbcollins39302:
bcollins39302 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Hmmmm angry much?
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
OMG I'm not angry XD

In fact, I was very calm when I was submitting this to deviantart ;P

Took me a few days to write it
Reply
:iconbcollins39302:
bcollins39302 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Oh ok the last line sounded like you probably looked like this when you typed it :iconstyle7plz: haha :p (Lick) 
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
XD

Omg, you just made me laugh XD

Nah.... more calmer when I was typing it,

Like this :|
Reply
:iconbcollins39302:
bcollins39302 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Haha okay
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
>:3
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
XD

Omg, you just made me laugh XD

Nah.... more calmer when I was typing it,

Like this :|
Reply
:iconbcollins39302:
bcollins39302 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
There are so many angry RD icons... :iconstyle2plz: :iconstyle3plz: :iconstyle4plz: :iconstyle5plz: :iconstyle6plz: :iconstyle7plz: 
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
And they all make me laugh! :icondignitylaughplz:
Reply
:iconthenaughtymutt:
TheNaughtyMutt Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Photographer
For some reason I smiled at the end of your poem.... (is that cynical of me?)

Anyways, I love the portrayal of expression! 
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you ;u;

Oh no, it's not.

Hopefully, it provided wisdom to you, or let you see something from a different point of view?

I dunno :')
Reply
:iconthenaughtymutt:
TheNaughtyMutt Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Photographer
Different view? Perhaps.... 

But I just can't get over how much I love your form... the sudden twists in your poems.. brill! :)
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Really?

You like ze twists and turns...noh? :iconfrenchguyplz:
Reply
:iconthenaughtymutt:
TheNaughtyMutt Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Photographer
Woof! Wan wan!Dog blob 
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Wan wan? :confused:
Reply
:iconthenaughtymutt:
TheNaughtyMutt Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Photographer
ARDILLA 
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Pretty puppy :iconawwwplz:
Reply
:iconthefierydeath:
thefierydeath Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Yes?
Reply
:iconthefierydeath:
thefierydeath Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Angry, huh?
Reply
:icontheice-sorceress:
TheIce-Sorceress Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Not really.
Just expressing something that needs to be expressed
Reply
:iconthefierydeath:
thefierydeath Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Alrighty
Reply
Add a Comment: